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Mindy Cohn 00:01
Hi everyone, Christian and I happily welcome you back to Monday's with Mindy.
Christian Brescia 00:05
Hi everybody. Welcome back to the show.
Mindy Cohn 00:07
Today's episode features a conversation with hairdresser hair stylist hair everything Lauren sell. Along with myself Lauren has considered hair to be an artistic medium from styling to coloring in salons for her loyal clientele. Yes me included teaching for Charisse das and shoe umera and working numerous Fashion Weeks Lauren has traveled the globe creating hair. Well born in Southern California, Laura acted for all of five minutes after graduating UCLA. she found herself at the renowned Vidal Sassoon Academy in Santa Monica, very rapidly, accumulating a high profile clientele. Her expertise at color made her a very sought after teacher as well. And for the couple of you know, high end haircare product companies I mentioned already. I'm traveling, teaching fashion shows servicing her clients and salon. Lauren has never slowed down until that last year. That is. COVID hit right. So is the hair care business and Lauren has recently pivoted while scaling down her clientele to only her very important regulars, me included. Lauren has recently completed her first semester in a master's program at Antioch University for clinical psychology. In a few short years she will have and be an lm ft. Yes, I've been a loyal client of Lauren sills for over a decade. She has taken me from red to brown to blonde to lavender and even shaved my head when I started my last rounds of chemo. As my natural salt and pepper started to grow in she encouraged me to be natural. And I am as you know, Christian, very proud of that. Yeah, most recently after another surgery left a scar that made me incredibly self conscious. Lauren proposed an obvious solution at least to her and suggested bangs well, gang I have to say it's been the happiest I've been in ages. And I've gotten more and more compliments so bangs it is!
Christian Brescia 02:04
Alright ladies and gentlemen, we are excited to meet the woman behind this miraculous decision. The hair stylist, hair colorist to the stars, Lauren Sill!
Mindy Cohn 02:16
Hi lovey. Hi, how are you? Good for seeing you.
Lauren Sill 02:21
Did you style your bangs perfectly for me, or is this a normal occurrence?
Mindy Cohn 02:24
This is normal actually, that was part of the intro about how life changing these bangs had been free, which is so hilarious. Um, so we start each episode with you know, Christian, and I kind of came up with these 20 questions and I just reach in and pick five and we just do a deep dive in that way we just start the conversation. So here we go. Okay, Lauren, what is your best habit? And what is your worst?
Lauren Sill 02:52
Let me start with my worst, my worst habit. I'm really struggling to be on time at all times. I truly think it's rude to show up late and I really am always late. So I feel arrogant all the time been working on it. But it would be you know, a half an hour late if I wasn't working on it. But instead instead it's like 510 that's probably my worst. And, my best habit. Oh, man, that's a hard one. I don't know. I'm really hard working. Does that count as a habit? Yeah. Yeah,
Mindy Cohn 03:26
let's go with that.
Christian Brescia 03:27
And I agree, you are insanely hard working. And you for the record with all of everybody listening. You were early to the recording of the show.
Lauren Sill 03:35
I'm fighting it like to an extreme.
Mindy Cohn 03:37
I mean, like it's good.
Lauren Sill 03:39
Anything that's important to me like, well, I don't see that. From late people will be like, more offended. If I'm nervous about being late. I always am early because you know,
Christian Brescia 03:49
good. Good. Yeah. Yeah. tronics always good. Everybody loves
add in whatever way you gotta do it.
Christian Brescia 03:55
Mindy Cohn 03:57
Um, what is the last thing you binge on?
Woof. Well, there's been a lot of bread lately.
Mindy Cohn 04:03
A lot of but are you carbo loading for your brace?
Well, in January, I'm trying not to eat bread because I ate so much bread in December.
I immediately failed on that mission. But I'm trying to like not go crazy with it, you know? But I've also when I watch TV, I watch a lot of TV like I watch no TV, and then I watch TV for four days straight.
Mindy Cohn 04:25
Oh, what things have you loved recently? Oh, well, of course. You'll
know I'm interested in this but couples therapy on Showtime? Yes. No. bingeable. And I love that therapist. And I was just gonna say she's very unusual. Yeah, she is. But I like her.
Mindy Cohn 04:42
Yeah, I do too. Very much. I agree with you on that. I have been shown that as well. I haven't checked it out
yet. I have to look into
and I've finished on a lot of things lately. I watched the undoing, right all at once. Yeah. I watched queens Gambit all at once. Basically, when I was in school, I didn't watch anything. at all and then I had a three week break from school and
Mindy Cohn 05:03
Yeah, sounds good. The best way to decompress. Yeah, um, what's your favorite place in the world and
why? Ooh, my favorite place in the world is my house in the desert. As I feel like my most peaceful and artistic self when I'm there, like I never ever do hair there. I just go and like, stare at the palm trees and I just
Mindy Cohn 05:28
feel so peaceful. Yeah, it's, it's beautiful. And I know how hard you work to get it. Have you been studying out there? Is that a good place to study?
That's a really good place to study. Yeah, yes. I bet that you know, my neighbors are hardly ever there because they it's like they're part time house. So Uh huh. Yeah. Nice. And I know everything's closed. You know, like, you're not going to restaurants or anything. So I'm like alone alone sometimes rarely will only come for the weekend. And night, the week. I'm like, silent. Nice.
Sounds magical. Yes, it's
Mindy Cohn 05:57
magical. Um, does your life have a theme song? And if it does, what is it?
This is a very element your question. My life of a theme song?
I don't know. I mean, it would have to be like something reanna or beyond say something that you have to like, try to you know, make yourself like a star. Yes.
Mindy Cohn 06:21
I can hear you
playing like run the world. Girls. I
Mindy Cohn 06:24
don't even ask pretty much that anything from lemonade? Yeah, it's happening. What do you splurge on
Mindy Cohn 06:34
My gosh, Christian, you have to tell Christian and our listeners this latest thing. I mean, this woman has a green thumb to say the least. But who knew except
I would say it's more of an obsession than skill. Like, I would say that I like I do kill a lot of them. And then I just replaced them. So I didn't know that part. That's the trick. Like I got, like, I got people like compliment me on like how a struggling plant is like flourishing. And I'm like, that's a new plant.
Mindy Cohn 07:03
But wait, what you have to let people who aren't watching. First of all in the background, if you guys are just listening, not watching us on YouTube. The room that Lauren is in, in in her home is just it's pillar to post in the most glorious plants. But what you have to inform everyone is when you go visit you when we are able to win in the future in a salon, what have you done to that salon?
So yeah, so I started working at a new salon, Selena Smith in June when all of this went down. And I loved the environment. I loved the people, but I just really wanted them to have more plants. So I basically suggested it and just kept bringing plants and was surprised that they let me keep bringing plans. I know this a lot is covered in plans.
Mindy Cohn 07:48
But it's it's fantastic. But I'd love that. I love that the version you told me which I know is the version you just told but it was like, you know, do you mind if I bring in a couple plants like you know, from an area and then it's like, would you like and then it just stopped asking. And so I walk in there and it's so gorgeous. It's not overrun at Oh, by any stretch.
It's more restrained than my home for sure. Oh, for sure. But
Mindy Cohn 08:13
it is so lovely to walk in there. It's a beautiful slum, but it's very clean and sparse and Stark. And so I love it. Yeah,
I love it. Thank you so much. Yeah, I was real sneaky about it. Um, my style when I like really want like to do something a certain way like I want like more control. I like offer myself some sort of some sort of service, you gotta give to get what you want, you know, like, oh, all water the plants and you know, when we closed the second time, your COVID which you know, hairstylists have been through a lot in California especially this year. So this is not like lightly when we closed the second time. And I was like oh I'll go in and I'll walk around like we had maybe three plants at that point. And I'm like and you don't need no more I gave me a key foolishly they gave me a key salon is closed I'm going weekly to water the plants and I'm bringing like three plants every week to and then there was one time I brought no jogger brought like 10 plants in one trip because I was bored and I was I don't know.
Mindy Cohn 09:15
I don't know. It's basically going to be like oh my gosh, I just had a mind fart what's the feed bc more feed me online? It's gonna be Little House of Horrors. When they walk it back in there whenever we reopen. Right? They're gonna walk in and go oh my god, they're gonna take over it's very
easy myself all this responsibility. So now I'm like, I have two water plants at home. And there I bought a bunch of plants for my desert house. Like everywhere I go, I'm buying plants and I'm like, Oh, I'm the one who has to take care of this. So I I've even even I have reached my limit.
Mindy Cohn 09:47
Yeah, I'm sure cuz it's not like you don't do anything and have nothing on your plate. Speaking of weight, about
myself when I kill them, like it doesn't not happens a lot. Unfortunately, I
Mindy Cohn 09:59
can relate to that. So, so so much
Oh, we buy profits now because they're only when they call now they're like dramatic?
Mindy Cohn 10:07
Yes, yes. So we talk to all kinds of creatives. As I, as I mentioned in the intro, you know, I am not the only person that thinks of you as one of the most important creatives in my life, but that you think about hair and as a creative endeavor, and it is, and people are real personal about it. Oh, and it is not, as we've shared this huge leap, at least in my mind that you have started officially, on your way to becoming a licensed therapist. Yeah, it makes perfect sense to me, because I know what you and I have shared in the chair,
Christian Brescia 10:42
like, you're an official version of.
Yeah, and I do look at it that way. Like, I kind of feel like, I don't really think of this as like me making a career change. I think of this is more training for something I'm already doing and shouldn't be. So scary. In my mind, too. When I was in high school, and I was bleaching people's hair, I had no business bleaching people's hair, I did not know what I was doing. And I made some mistakes. And, you know, I needed that training. And now I'm like, you know, I'm getting into people's attachment styles with them. And I'm talking to them about their childhoods. And I'm like, you know, like, I might as well know what I'm talking about. I didn't
Mindy Cohn 11:23
know. So you know, one of the things that, yes, everyone has a nose hairstylist, but you are this master colorist? And it's one of the things that I don't think about or give enough credit to, unless you've been done wrong. Oh, and most people have been done real wrong and dirty. Yeah. Um, and I, I for one would like to sit like, how did you know this was going to be your breakout skill? I mean, yes, everyone gets trained, but you have this ridiculous ability to take people from, as I mentioned, dark to light to lavender Tabak without damaging their hair. But there is also this artistic I don't know, painting, like, What is it? What is it that you are the expert that you are? Yeah,
I mean, I would say a big percentage of it is training you you have to be humble enough to not stop at a certain point and decide, you know, at all, because things change to like, you know, olaplex came out, and all of a sudden, we have more options for what we guess, and you have to really stay up on your training, it's a science, you have to really understand the chemistry of it, you have to really understand how far you can take the hair and all of that. I think something that has really helped me and will help me as a therapist too, but has really helped me as a colorist, especially a corrective colorist is that unit here? And I have really strong boundaries. And I have no problem saying no. And a lot of us and I said no to me many times, yes. And somehow you still likes me afterwards. So that's part of the skill. A lot of hair, stylists get bullied into doing things because they're afraid to say no. And also, they're not sure if they have an uneasy feeling because they're just being nervous or because it's a bad idea. And so I definitely I try uneasy feeling. Yes. And I even say that to clients, like, if I feel like maybe they're not gonna listen to me, they're not gonna use right products, they're gonna use heat on their hair afterwards, they're gonna, whatever it is that I'm feeling anxious about, or we're just not visualizing the same thing. And I'm afraid I won't be able to make them happy. I just say that I just say, you know, I just have this feeling like I'm a little anxious about this. And I have learned to trust that feeling. So I don't think I'm the right hairstylist for you, you know, something I don't think can be done. And I think it's really important to make sure people's expectations are reasonable, you know, under promise over deliver.
Mindy Cohn 13:42
So you have always done that
I would were there with a friend of yours recently, I would guess, tell someone, this might be orange. And it might be this and it might be this because I'm not going to lift it light enough to break it. So you might be stuck at kind of a rock color for a while. Is that okay? Would you cry if this was orange, like I have that conversation ahead of time, so that when I pass that they're like,
Mindy Cohn 14:05
of course, then I get the text and I get the pictures of like, Oh my god, and this is you know, a very famous actress who has had a very famous hair colorist touch her hair, and proceeded to tell me how great this colorist was. And she is I've seen her other work, and so is everybody else on magazines, and I said, and you know what? Lauren's better. Oh, and trust me, I love being right. It's my most favorite thing. And when it comes to Lauren, I'm always right. But what's interesting is that my
colorist, so that's really sweet that you do. I mean, I love the colors, but if there's one thing I have obsessive Li focused on, it's kind of more than color. That's true. I think I have a stream and I have good trading. Yeah,
Mindy Cohn 14:50
well there but there is this artistic component that that I I notice and I appreciate and I think if people really think Think about it. And especially I don't know if this is for men, but I know for women, Christian, honestly, everything else about you can kind of go wrong. But if you're having a good hair day or you love your hair, I can't tell you how many times my mood is lifted, when I leave Lawrence. And you know, I want to go see people know what I want, and I want them to see me. I mean, to me, that is such a gift. And I equate it and no joke. I'm not being dramatic, although I tend to be a little
bit. That's very much part of the reason that I wanted to do therapy and that I got into it is I really do believe it's like a very fast version of therapy. It's like a way to make somebody feel good about themselves right away. And yeah, a great gift to be able to give someone Yeah,
Mindy Cohn 15:43
100%. I equate it to when people recognize me and come up and go, you've made me laugh my whole life. I feel amazing. I say that to Lauren, every time I leave her, it's Thank you, I feel so pretty and good about myself. So I hope you receive that.
I do and I love it actually, it's interesting that you say that I've been thinking a lot about, you know, what you get from a job versus what you give, right. And one of my therapy teachers, her name is Joy trick at Antioch. And she's, she's given me some really like juicy little things to think about. And one thing she said to me was, or to all of us was, there's a lot of therapists out there who enjoy the power a little too much. And they can be very, like damaging and manipulative, right, because you have all this power over someone's life potentially. And so she's saying, don't do it for the power, if you're in it for the power, it's the wrong reason. And she said, You have to have some other place where you feel powerful, you have to get your power from somewhere else, so that you don't get it in a therapy session. And I immediately went, I feel incredibly powerful from here. I let I like making people feel good. But I'm also like, you know, an art, you know, you're the bomb. Oh, amazing. I am all day. And people are leaving feeling incredible. And it's like, you know, I'm fixing a carpet painting over and over again. And there's a little bit of like, whoo, look at me. And so, you know, I feel like that jobs for me and therapy is going to be for someone else.
Mindy Cohn 17:05
I love that. You're also a giver. I mean, you know, I think most creatives are I mean, as narcissistic as the tendencies can be sometimes, and we're not my nurses
and but cool.
Mindy Cohn 17:17
I mean, I think all creatives need a healthy ego. But at the same time, you know, for instance, I was given one of the best pieces of advice ever about auditioning. Go and give it away. In other words, you're just go give it Yeah, so we're givers naturally.
Mindy Cohn 17:30
love So talk to me about your trajectory, right? Go back. I hope this is good for you and not traumatizing. But go back when you were acting for all of five minutes and then found yourself going to school to learn a skill and realizing you know what, not only do I like this, but I feel really comfortable with this.
So, okay, man, I did not feel really comfortable with that decision until I was a successful hairstylist. I felt like I had given up my chance at success or at making a lot of money. And I was just going to go towards something I was good at and enjoy. Right. So I went to UCLA. And I studied psychology and I wanted to be a therapist. I wanted to be a marriage counselor. And I just felt like I was just burnt out on school. I was a super super student in high school. And by the time I got to college, I just wanted to party I barely went to class. I like I graduated, but that was it. You know what I mean? Right? And I just I wasn't in the place to be like throwing myself into studying something that's just not where I was. And at that point, I had been charging for hair since I was like 14. So I was doing my hotel already. I you know, I was like charging for prom and doing all kinds of stuff. So to me, it was a hobby. It was just like my art. It was just like a fun thing I liked to do and that I was good at.
Christian Brescia 18:47
But I don't have any formal training at that stage.
No, no. And this was before YouTube before Instagram. So I was just playing. I was just like, and I was wasting over then. Yeah, now I attempted things with color then that like now I'd be like no, I got a lot of my guinea pig. Let me ruin some people out when I was like 15. So you know, thank you for letting me burn off your eyebrows. But um, it's interesting because I just, I'm embarrassed to say this now and I hope they are stateless listening will hear me out. I didn't want to be a hairstylist because I don't think I have enough respect for the industry. I think the real stigma and especially then there was a real stigma about kind of the gum chewing not Yeah, yes. I mean, I am an oversharer. But, you know, that sort of unprofessional, like not making that much money. Like that was what I thought it was. So I didn't want that job. I just wanted to do hair for fun, you know, and I thought of myself as this super Student Academic. I thought I was gonna be a lawyer. So or a therapist or not, I don't know what to do, right. But at some point, I was not sure what I wanted to do and kind of confused and didn't want to go to school anymore. But I think I wasn't sure enough about hair to actually go to cosmetology school, and I had gotten really into like theater classes at UCLA. And I was like, you know, I was a theater kid, I was a musical theater nerd. Like, I was always into that growing up. And I was very, very bitter that my mother would not give up her job to drive me to audition to LA, as a child, like she should have, you know, I really do feel like I missed my calling as a child actor, because I was very precocious, and a really good reader. And I would like, you know, make myself cry in the mirror and stuff. And now I'm not better than anyone else at acting, you know, but then I think I could have been. And so I just, I had younger friends at UCLA, and I wanted to party for another year. And so I was an actress, also known as a waitress. Yeah. You know, a year and didn't really try that hard to be honest. I just didn't really I felt kind of lost. Honestly, I think I was kind of depressed in retrospect. Yeah. And, and then
Mindy Cohn 20:50
the Delta soon, like, when you committed to going there? And actually, I mean, did that kind of change that trajectory? Yeah, I
definitely got excited about it. I think, um, being in LA living in LA, you start to have a different idea of what a hairstylist means. But being in this means, because there are incredibly successful hair stylists here who make a lot of money, and oh, yeah, all kinds of cool stuff. And I started thinking, like, oh, it'd be cool to you know, do hair for that movie, or to be able to do this and be able to do fashion shows. And I just started to realize, like, you know, there's more to life. And also now, because of Instagram, you can be a successful hairstylist and live anywhere. But that was not the case when I was in high school, right? Like, you can blow up and have people, you know, driving to San Bernardino to have you do their hair. And when I was in high school, that was not happening. That's right. So I just didn't feel like you know, that was an option. And then as I started to respect it more and get more excited about it, I found out about Sassoon. And I think I realized how serious they were about the education part of it. And I got really into it. And then especially once I was in school, I was really into it, but I still wasn't I still had this sort of nagging feeling like I had left behind my like, you know, intellectual path. Right. And I think I think it really people do themselves a disservice when they decide that they know everything there is about a certain job before they have it. And they make all these assumptions, because I will tell you, hairstylist, I think are some of the most successful hairstyles, or some of the most all around intelligent people I have known because they are emotionally intelligent. They understand you know, chemistry, they can do sculpture, like they're artists, but they're all
Mindy Cohn 22:31
and I, I have to say not enough credit is given to the fact that you come out of school and I don't care what salon you end up in, you have to create your own business. You are the only one who can determine marketing. how hard you're going to work. Yeah, kind of clientele. You're going to solicit I mean, and to be able to do that. I think it's just not given enough credit again, and especially in LA when we see all the star right. They started washing hair and bowls.
Oh, yeah, you don't you don't accidentally end up in a successful hairstylist, right? That used to be more the case to be completely honest with you. I would say 30 years ago, some of the most famous hairstylist were schmoozers, who were in the right place at the right time. And 100% they had one famous hair sitter, one client, who they massage their shoulders constantly and made them feel good about themselves. And they guess and they were using them. And, and that's just not a thing anymore. Like, you know, you look at I don't know, you look at Jen Atkins, like I don't have to know anything about her to know she's a hustler. And it's right, worked her butt off. You know, you bet. So if I ever hear you know, a new hairstylist whining or acting like this person has success, male deserve it cuz they're not this good. They're not that good at Bob's or whatever it is. It's like, No, no, that's not how it works. You know, you got to be where they are. And I think that's one of those things, you know, those same qualities that would make someone successful in any job will make you successful in the job that you're passionate about. So don't worry about it. If it's not a job that makes a lot of money, why don't you figure out a way to make money doing that thing you love? Right? You know, it's possible, like, I don't even know exist yet.
Mindy Cohn 24:09
Yeah. And I think there's just also this fear. I mean, I'd love that you touched upon that. And I just think at any age, too, you know, if you're not loving what you're doing, you're going to it's just gonna be a really long life, you know, along unhappy and not to be afraid to change or tack or pivot, right. I'm really, it's, um, I'm very excited for you. I'm so proud of you that you are taking this step to become more of who you are. And I'll be sitting in that chair across from you, at some point, not just you doing my hair, I have a feeling.
I've been thinking a lot about that. Because you know, when I first started doing this whole, you know, path, right? It was kind of impulsive, honestly, it was like okay, COVID decided that I can't be a hairstylist right now. Right? Someday, I always wanting to be a therapist, I thought it would be like in my 40s or 50s, when I started to feel tired from standing all day and wanted to have a career that didn't involve that I have all these friends with that problems, etc. So it was always my like, someday I'll do that. And then I was just kind of like, Okay, I guess it's now because I don't want to sit around and wait for somebody to let me work. Right? I want to just, you know, be passionate about something I'm into, you know, I don't know, it's it's interesting how things can change so quickly. And sometimes you just got to go with it if it feels right. But oh, sorry. What I was saying is, I think I thought I was going to combine them, right? I thought, like, I'm going to find a way I told my parents, I remember that. I told my parents, I was gonna start a salon called therapy. They told them this in college, this was my way of like, no, Leah, easing them into cosmetology school, like, Oh, this is a great idea, guys. But I thought I was gonna find a way to do hair at the same time is doing therapy. And I still debate that I think it would have to be more like coaching than therapy, because there's the whole, like, dual relationship boundaries. Yeah. But the more that I'm taking these classes and learning the actual process of therapy, there's part of me that really wants to keep it separate. there's part of me that really wants to like, Oh, yeah,
anonymity. Because I'm thinking about, like, you know, when I'm really trying my best to make someone happy and make their hair look good. When they're like mad at me or angry at me or upset. It's like, so soul crushing, like, I will think about it for the next week, you know, like, I am really pouring my heart and myself and trying to do my best to make you happy. And I can't make you happy. And that makes me feel horrible. But part of that is because they know me. And this is my art, and I'm expressing who I am. And I'm talking about my boyfriend, and they know me in a different way. And I have I'm liking the idea of being a little more anonymous, and it being all about them. So that is only
Mindy Cohn 26:49
Wow. And then if they're not mad at me, no, I'm learning about them.
Mindy Cohn 26:56
And I am By the way, the two times that I've been mad at you, it's been a chemical. It's not been your fault.
I don't even remember that. So that's why I
Mindy Cohn 27:06
I miss my lavender hair so much. But there were a couple times where it was not it was literally chemical where it just my hair was like you're so cute. We're not playing anymore. And it wouldn't take as much as it would. Oh, yeah, it was not Lauren, right. It was. No, it was not you.
That's the nature of light lavender. is you got to apply it twice. Exactly.
Mindy Cohn 27:29
So you know, FYI, I knew that. I
was maybe no you have no idea what her stylists go through.
Mindy Cohn 27:36
You have no idea some of the abuse people have. I can't imagine. I can't imagine. Well, if ever. Matthew syrup. No one's messing with my kid. Oh,
I have no problem managing someone beat.
Mindy Cohn 27:48
No, you don't. I've seen it. I love it in action. And I think it's all stroking. Yeah, exactly. And I think that will serve you well. Thank you. I am so so tickled that you said yes to doing an episode of Mondays
so much for having me. I just you're one of my favorites. And we always have such a fun time and you are always going to be somebody I look forward to. Oh, ditto you you just make me feel my best self ever all the time. I feel like it's always your best off all the time.
Mindy Cohn 28:18
Oh no. Ask Christian. Oh, no.
Christian Brescia 28:25
dye your hair lavender. We'll see how that goes for your relationship. Yeah,
Mindy Cohn 28:30
exactly. That's That's it. Anyway, I adore you. I'm so excited for what's to come and I can't wait to get in that chair of yours in that salon. It's always needed and warranted but more importantly just my time with you.
I love you. Thank you so much, Mindy.
Christian Brescia 28:46
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