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Christian Brescia 00:02
Hi everyone and welcome back to another episode of Monday's with Mindy. Today, Mindy and I will be having a conversation with actor, writer and producer Jeffrey Self.
Mindy Cohn 00:10
Jeffrey grew up in the south and native of Georgia to be Exact. After attending middle school he persuaded his parents to let him be homeschooled to avoid dealing in high school and the fact that he was gay and obviously getting very bullied. Jeffrey is the author of two humor books 50 shades of gay and straight people a spotters guide, as well as the young adult novels a very very bad thing and drag team. He's appeared in numerous television shows he and Cola Scola starred in the sketch comedy series Jeffrey and Cole Casserole which aired on logo TV for two seasons, and appeared in episodes of Desperate Housewives Hot in Cleveland, 30 rock, 90210 and shameless. He co wrote, produced, and starred in the indie horror cult movie, you're killing me, which is where I first met him because he graciously cast me in it.
Christian Brescia 01:00
Mindy Cohn 01:01
He was the host of the MTV series scream after dark and has most recently wrapped the fourth season playing Mark doober on TBS, and HBO max phenomenon Search Party which we have just found out is picked up for Season Five. Yeah, could not be happier. Jeffrey is coming to us from Los Angeles. He lives there with his husband Augustus Prue.
Christian Brescia 01:23
Awesome, ladies and gentlemen. We're very excited to welcome to the show, Jeffrey self. Hello! How's it going?
Mindy Cohn 01:36
Hi! I'm opening my secret canister. Just going. You're just going with that. You're just getting some secrets. Honestly, it's you. We can just do a deep dive in. There's no pretense there's no formality. It's definitely so. Jeffrey Yeah. What do you splurge on?
Jeffery Self 01:55
We're just talking about that yesterday, because we were like, cuz I'm about to live in New York. We're gonna live in New York for the summer. And we were looking at how expensive apartments are. And I was like, Oh my god, how does anyone in New York before any sort of life and then I was thinking about what do we splurge on because we were comparing ourselves to friends who do live in New York. And I think like nice meals, like fancy restaurant. I really like a fancy restaurant. And even during COVID like having fancy restaurants delivered was a whole new level of indulgence that I really enjoyed splurging on like I live on the east side and get Bo and I've been there in Highland Park started doing the beginning of quarantine a delivery meal that was like they'd make you a martini, deliver. I mean, it was she and they like packaged it really like szekely and it just felt like you're in a fancy meal. splurging on fancy meals is probably my number one. And then also I manically buy glasses all the time, because I have to wear glasses to see our way. And I just like buy them constantly. And because there's so many like not even expensive ones, but like the cheapo like, I buy direct and like deli has been nothing but something like
Mindy Cohn 03:06
that. I'm so obsessed. I mean, obviously catus appliances. These are my newest ones. I'm so far up their tyshee because I'm obsessed with all of their they call them I appliances. I know. I know. It makes me feel very I don't know. It's a thing. It's Yeah. If you were to wear them all the time, it's worth splurging on. Right. Agree. And I do have to say for women, well, maybe for some men too. As you age, it's so nice to put these on and not have to wear as much makeup. I fully get that. Yeah, I will just have to say, I haven't worn eye makeup since middle school though. So you're bringing it back? Right? Tell me you're gonna bring it back. At some point. Eyes are too sensitive eyes are too sensitive. Cry guys. What is your best habit? And what is your worst habit?
Jeffery Self 03:57
My best habit. My best habit is I'm a diligent reader. I read pretty much from the minute I wake up every morning I try to read for at least like 30 minutes while I drink coffee. And try like to read a book not like just Instagram or Twitter or some shit. And I would say and I also read throughout the day, and then I would say my worst habit. getting jealous. Really easy. Okay, we might be separated at birth a little bit. Um, that's not an insult in any way, shape or form. I don't think so. Oh,
Mindy Cohn 04:31
let me ask you this. Can I just go back to this reading thing? Yeah, I am a voracious reader, however, comma, during COVID and during the pandemic, I could not sit and concentrate for more than 20 minutes to save my life about reading and I I'm really missing it you are able to no matter where you are. do a deep dive into something. Yeah, for
Jeffery Self 04:54
the most part. I think if I'm like going through some sort of like depression moment, I don't really read because I can't focus but I think for the most part, during the pandemic I read, like, a lot, probably more than even normal, like when I was in because my husband was shooting in New Zealand and I had to go there and do that, like two week quarantine thing. I never turned the TV on. I just read literally, for two weeks. It was true happen. Like I ran out, I brought tons of books I ran out of my iPad, I was able to like check out books out of the library from the app and stuff. I'm from New Zealand, which is great to have that word.
Mindy Cohn 05:33
Marvel, sir, a Marvel, Marvel. I read so much in orange and basically the whole quarantine. Yeah, I'm fine. So you have tremendous focus with not with really anything else.
Christian Brescia 05:46
Like, oh, look a bird.
Mindy Cohn 05:48
Yeah. I have a hard time. I mean, like, I love watching movies, but I ended up pausing one, like, if it's a two hour movie, it takes me like four hours to watch it. And if it's a three hour movie, like two weeks, but I'll treat like a three hour movie, like, you know, just theories I'm bingeing, um, but so that I don't have to focus on and like in a conversation, I have a hard time focusing and all that. But like, with reading, I can pretty much always, I am so impressed. I'm also a very jealous person. Oh, and I hate to admit it, but I really am. so jealous of everybody. I thought I would age out of it. Now. I'm here to tell you. I'm here to tell you, sir. It stays with you. It's time. Yeah. And this town? Exactly. Sometimes I'm not as happy for my friends, as my heart wants to me, I get a little query. Yeah, I'll admit it. Um, if you could have dinner with any three people, who would they be?
Jeffery Self 06:45
At three people? Who would they be? Well, I don't think all of these people get along, so it
Mindy Cohn 06:52
would be even better.
Jeffery Self 06:55
I love very much. Two of my favorites are Rosie O'Donnell and Whoopi Goldberg. But oh, I don't from the sound of it don't really get along anymore. So that would be a difficult dinner. And I'd also love to throw Oprah in there. But I don't know where Oprah stands with Rosie anymore. I think she won't be or Okay, after some sort of Tyler Perry lunch that they sort of talked about on the final season of Oprah. Um, but I would those would be my three. But I feel like I would have to spend the whole time playing referee. And really what I want is just like some mimosas and a joint with works. And just like a really chill, lovely conversation, but I think it would get there'll be some egos involved, unfortunately, I think even for me as well. And maybe I
Mindy Cohn 07:42
know, I doubt that. But I know it would be
very tricky, but I would I Really? I would enjoy that. That would be a nice.
Mindy Cohn 07:51
Yes. Well, I'm available to serve, because I would just like to be there.
I would like to cater that. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it would be hard pressed to get the door be like it would be a good dinner.
Mindy Cohn 08:05
I would just like to truly just listen. Who is your celebrity crush? Well,
I mean, besides Whoopi Goldberg, my celebrity crush always is changing. Like let's say Sunday's were the Harry Styles place but then Sunday's we're in like a ghost of James Dean place.
Mindy Cohn 08:23
Love a ghost. I love a lot of a lot of crushes on Ghost. Ghost crush, and coming to the CW. And
Mindy Cohn 08:39
totally, by the way, I think I've come up with another Monday's with Mindy question. Who
is your crush? crush? Yeah. I mean, I'm a lot, I guess. But I would say I'm probably the person on Yeah, Harry Styles is at the moment. The one that I I plan out for the month?
Mindy Cohn 08:56
Yeah, that's a good one. I mean, not that it matters what I think. But, um, I think he's just better than anticipated. I agree. I'd like to surprise. My friend, Marjorie. And I talked about New York dinners. We were at Carbone, and he was sitting next to us having what I know was a business meeting because it was just, he was adulting. Yeah. And I said to Marjorie, I said, I don't know about you, but I really think this qualifies as us having dinner with Harry Styles. And she goes, I support you in that. You don't Yeah, I've had dinner with Harry Styles. I don't think he knows it. Uh, what assumption do people make about you? That's wrong. Most assumptions about me are probably right, unfortunately. What are those What do you mean?
I don't know. If they make it. If there's smoke, there's fire. Yeah, um, I would say um, assumption that you'll make about me that is, like maybe people, sometimes people like friends who like your set you like you're always working. You're always like working on things and little projects on your own. And even when you don't have a job, and I actually am not, I'm just good at pretending to seem busy. Because I'm usually
Mindy Cohn 10:19
you do present like you've got a lot cooking. I will say that
I do present that way. But the reality is most of the time is there is very little. In fact, most of the time I'm just cooking. I'm literally just cooking dinner for myself.
Mindy Cohn 10:35
Yeah, not even doing a good job. Oh, please. Um, why the summer excursion to New York,
we're shooting the final season. I think it's the final season fifth season, at least for a party. I'm so excited and
Mindy Cohn 10:52
excited to I'm more excited that I'm actually going to be there. And I'm going to figure out COVID way to come visit. Oh,
yes, please do. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's a really fun season and start shooting a week from Monday. Well, and it's I've only read the first three scripts, but it's really really, really good. And of course it is. There's one specific incredible guest star this season that I'm deeply excited to see. Okay,
Mindy Cohn 11:19
I'm very excited. I have to say as you know, it's become I'm obsessed with it. I think the genius of it. There's many jenai about it. But what went wrong? Yes. One of the things is that it's so different season to season is fifth season going to disappoint as a whole. Yeah, yeah. I'd love that.
We've had like the the missing person thing last season was basically mystery. This season. I think they want people to stay with what kind of genre it is. But genre in the it makes sense with the other job.
Mindy Cohn 11:58
Okay, I that's enough for me. That's fine, I think. Yeah, I think it was a loose yet. intriguing. Yeah. I want to do I always want more search party. Okay, that makes me very happy. It also makes me happy that I miss you in New York.
I'm so excited. And then when I finish oggy is going to be there shooting a movie right after me. So I think we're just gonna stay until potentially.
Mindy Cohn 12:25
Nice, do it. And then Hi, you just have to stick as Broadway's opening I know, because my tissue is going to be in seats that first week.
It's going to be so exciting. I know. I really want to go to one of their shows their first performance back.
Mindy Cohn 12:39
Right, half, two, I just want to sit and cry for two hours. Oh, yeah, for sure. Okay, so back to work. That's very exciting.
Yeah. I mean, it's, you know, it's been a weird, long time of not doing work. I shot I did do a little work. And I got to shoot in Milan to say about the movie, but I did. I did just one day on a movie recently. And I got to do a one on one scene with one of, if not even one of my number one favorite. Well, you have to say who is in movies, such as at boom, First Wives Club.
Mindy Cohn 13:20
Oh, and I know the movie my friend produce that. Oh, is it Alex? Do you know Alex? Alex, but also Gina? Oh, yeah, yeah, yes. Yes. I know exactly what movie you're talking about. A good script. And really fun day when the lady isn't as good as the lady that tonight's movies and the lady that is directing that movie or directed?
Yeah, I love Katie so much, Katie. I'm not spoiling what movie it is. But yeah, it's great. It's really great. I think I mean, who cares? But it's, it's a really good script. Good
Mindy Cohn 13:59
news is that that's already been in the press. They've already announced yet. They've already done. Katie. Yeah. As directing. Yes. Wonderful. I
love her very much. And she was such a good director.
Mindy Cohn 14:10
That's what Gina said, I of course, had to ask immediately because I'm a fan of her work as an actress, but it was really like, How the heck did she get at the helm of this matrix? She's on. She's really impressive. Really? Amazing. And a dream came true for you. That makes me very happy. Yeah. And it was everything and more, I'm sure. Oh, everything and more everything in March. Yeah. Okay, that makes you so happy.
Yeah, it was like one of those like, hollywood RED LETTER days. You know, it was right. We had just gotten back to LA so it was like, you're back in LA and you're doing this like your first week. Here we go. And then of course, I've just been sitting on my ass for like, 16
Mindy Cohn 14:49
no getting ready.
That's right, getting ready to move to New York packing diligently. Not at all and not just laying around on But I bought a sun lounger it's that's something I accomplished. And I've been sitting on it quite a bit so
Mindy Cohn 15:04
oh my god, it's so dangerous.
makes me jealous. It's good. Getting into la sunshine before we leave.
Mindy Cohn 15:12
Yes. Well, so it's been a very prolific time for you as of late and into the future.
Yeah, I mean, this summer. I'm really excited for this summer to you know, it's, as we all know, it's like so rare to like, know what you're going to be doing in this showbiz world of in like, a few months time. Yeah. And to know, like, oh, wow, I know what the next few months of my life look like, is like, like such a game changer on the anxiety scale. I'm so it's so nice. I'm like trying to like, take a moment to like, appreciate that and honor that and know that it will. It's very rare that in four months time, I'll be back to like it my son mangiare. Yeah, just sitting around waiting for something to happen. Well,
Mindy Cohn 15:59
I not only so relate to it. But I would like to talk about this. I don't think we've ever had this conversation before on an episode. I think it's a real skill, especially actors, not so much as writers and producers and directors, but after in the waiting, you know, trying to make sure that you don't become a slave to the non activity. And also, as I have just experienced this week, your life literally changes in a 24 hour period. And it's sort of like, Oh my god, you're the poster child for just say, Yes. You know, the world opened up and it was like, oh, oh, holy, holy moly.
And it's so big. It's like, I mean, I used to be really, really, really bad at the waiting around and just like would just sort of not enjoy the waiting around. I've gotten really good at enjoying the waiting around.
Mindy Cohn 16:54
Security of some kind that you didn't have, like what has changed
a little bit like I've been Yeah, I've had a bit more security and created a bit more security for myself. But like, I've also just, like gotten more, a little bit more relaxed about it. Like, I mean, when I like when I lived like in New York in my early 20s it was just like getting started I was like just always like a complete wreck in between thing. And I think LA I personally find easier for to like wait around in and just sort of waste the days away between things. Um, I find the sunshine and the outdoors Enos of it, distracting enough to sort of get through a day? And I would say, yeah, I think I've just sort of like chilled out and then like, Oh, it's like, you don't want to do anything this week. Like, enjoy it. But sometimes it's like, I'll enjoy it too much. And then all of a sudden, like you said, like, you get all of a sudden changes, like something happens. You're like, shit I'm working on next week. And you're like, Oh, God, I haven't gotten off the couch. And like, how does this work? Like, scrub it down, you know, like this? Or and like figure out like, what do I? How do I think again? Yes, I've gotten really good at like vacation mode, but sometimes for the worse. Yeah. That's why it's nice when you have a little bit of prep time for
Mindy Cohn 18:15
100% 100%. It's also just something to look forward to.
Totally, but I do think that like the getting used to like the silence in between, and the noise is like really so much of like more just as much a part of it as anything else. And yeah,
Mindy Cohn 18:31
I have to say it's one of the reasons the pandemic, those first few months was not a hardship for me, because I'm used to it. I mean, I'm used to sort of like hunkering down in between things. But it was so fascinating. Yeah. But it was it was fascinating to sort of have everybody else go through it, too.
Yeah. Oh, it was weird. And then with the jealousy stuff, it was like, Oh, I don't have to compare myself to all these other people who are working. It's like, we're all on level playing ground, which is very, and I found myself actually like doing more creatively because I wasn't like comparing myself to other people's success at the time. So that is definitely something to look at.
Mindy Cohn 19:13
My favorite pandemic story of jealousy is that I was telling my friend Tara about like, I just don't understand it. Everyone's going back to work. What about me? And I was listing off these things that my friends were doing, she goes, I just like to bring it to your attention that you're not right for any of those roles. So the whole thing that you're upset, what are you upset about? You know, it was such a good thing to point out and I've really been using that as my mantra of just like, is this really for you Monday? No, it is not. Like this. Is this you're exactly. Exactly
when it is your lane and someone else's in it. You're like
Mindy Cohn 19:55
yeah, I'm making a bigger lane. That's what meditation is about, I guess. Yeah, I guess so. So talk to me a little bit about and people who are listening the trajectory of your career because there does seem to be You are such a good poster child. I don't know why I keep saying poster child. Sorry. For the picture. I picture myself on a poster. Okay, well, you know, where a stop word Yeah. Lucille Yeah. Yeah. Um, talk to me a little bit about this trajectory that you had, because there is something to be said of your perseverance. And you're deciding that. And I think it's helpful, especially for my parents to hear from someone else. There is no other. This is what I do. This is what I want to do. It's what I live for. And, and it has shown me that even if I wait in between the walls, something delicious, always comes my way. So I mean, and again, I think the older I get, the easier it is to deal with it.
Yeah, I mean, I'm just sort of jumped into doing stuff, man, I tried to go to college, and then I didn't like that. And so left very quickly, and moved to New York and just sort of started, I don't know, like, just sort of flailing around. And, you know, kind of knew I wanted to do something I wanted to write I wanted to form but I didn't quite know what that really in what way and you know, I slowly started doing like, stand up stuff. And then when I started doing, like, sketch comedy stuff with one of my best friends, Cole Scola, who's the genius, that sort of started to kind of think through to kind of come together a bit more and like, you know, sort of solidifying, okay, this is a way to do the thing you want to do. And then that obviously led to like, more acting stuff, but, um, you know, I think that like, for that it was just like, within that time, it was like, Well, what else am I gonna? Do? I truly, like when and in moments where I've been, like, super broken, not working, and just like, it does, and it seems really bleak for foreseeable future. It's like, what are you like, truly, what are you gonna do? Because I hate you're gonna go, I mean, I homeschool myself in high school online. And so like, I barely, like, don't have I think I graduated high school, but I never got the Diploma in the mail, mix, maybe send it as a PDF. But like it was, and then so it's like, okay, so you'll go back to high school, and then you go to college, and then you're gonna, like, learn how to do something like, I truly, never, ever thought about doing anything else. I'm not equipped to do anything else. So it was like, there was just a period, a moment where it was like, it's this or like, I mean, move in to your parents house and wait for them to get old, so you can get to take care of them.
Mindy Cohn 22:57
There have been moments where I thought, you know, maybe it is time to just, you know, take a tack and learn the solar industry, you know, all these new tech jobs that Biden is promising. Maybe that's the, you know, I my mind takes me to very strange neighborhoods. And then of course, you know,
I get the muffins. Yeah, it's Yeah. But it's like, you know, that's the like, you know, what is it people always say, like, if there's anything else you can do do that, you know, like, I do think there's like, a merit to that. Because it is the worst way to make money. I mean, it's funny, but it's, it's always true. Truly texting. Yes. And, and also super, super, super cushy, fun life, but like, it's when it's not, and it's huge. It's more often not that it is, yeah, really not fun.
Mindy Cohn 23:53
Okay, I just had a flash of like, I can't believe I finally got to meet your husband, which makes me very happy. Yeah.
You'll be there. He's going to London to see his family before he comes to New York, and then he's going to come. Okay, that
Mindy Cohn 24:07
sounds really good. Yeah. And how is how is that though, two actors in a household. Um, it's
good. I mean, very emotional. Very, at times, very traumatic. Time, very, at times a lot, but usually very fun. And I feel like we have done a really good job of like, helping each other with each other's work and like, like, you know, we do our we often do auditions together. And it's like, I mean, no matter what, we end up trying to kill each other doing that, but it definitely I think makes for better. For me, at least I always feel like I'm better at it because he's like, a really, really good actor. And it's like more of a like, I come from, like, the world of comedy, and I just, like kind of acted. He's like a legitimate actor. So I feel like that's you. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like I can sort of like, I can sort of skill his tricks a little bit. Yeah. We, um, we Yeah, we have a lot of fun. It's really nice. We've been,
Mindy Cohn 25:09
but I mean, it's rare. It's rare to have, you know, two artists. I mean, it's difficult. That's all usually I'm just saying I'm not gonna ask problems.
It's definitely difficult. Oh, yeah. But I'm in a in a lovely way, I think because we're both like, deeply emotional, sensitive, raw people. We have a feeling never goes on address.
Mindy Cohn 25:36
in a really positive way. That Yeah, yeah. There's very few hours between like feeling something and talking about something.
Mindy Cohn 25:46
Yeah, have you felt the new enormity of search party's success? like have you have you felt the the remnants of that? A little
bit like what it was on TBS? I feel like no, like, leave me mentioned somewhere. And they were like, Oh, um, and then even my mom and dad were like, Whoa, and I listened.
Mindy Cohn 26:07
I feel like it's truly been found.
Yeah, the interview on accident all and this past season, because it was so good and so dingy. I feel like a lot of people found it and like in the pandemic to have like, people just like, going, getting HBO Max and like, running out of stuff to watch. Let's just do this. And like, because it's such a show that ends on such cliffhangers. You want to be get people to keep tuning back in. So yeah, I feel like people are very much more aware of that. Because I believe it was like me. Yeah, I feel like it's the thing that I can show these people were aware of, but like, no one like no one else. And so I feel like more people are actually aware of it now.
Mindy Cohn 26:54
I mean, all I know, because I honestly, that's when you eat the benefits. You do. Yeah. I mean, hands down. You do. And I'm excited for you for that. And many, many more things. Yes. Yes, I know. So I know this to be true. Ah. Jeffrey, I adore you. Thank you adore
you. This was so lovely. I'm so happy to talk to you. And on you. I'm hopefully we'll see you in New York.
Mindy Cohn 27:21
Oh, yeah. Not just once. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's really when you go next month. Yeah. Next month, and I'm I'm really gonna be there off and on, but mostly through. Yeah, it's happening. Yeah,
we'll have lovely times. I think the place I'm staying is a pool on the ribs. He comes to that.
Mindy Cohn 27:47
Christian Brescia 27:49
That's rare New York. It's one of those awful
Mindy Cohn 27:52
ties up to the farm as well. I love that. I love them. There's no see.
Christian Brescia 27:59
Yeah. All right, y'all. Have a good one. Thank you for having me. Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen. One more time. One round of applause for Jeffrey self. Yay. All right. This episode of money segment is brought to you in part by our sponsors, Beekman. 1802. And the cocktail party love Mary, Beekman. 1802. We believe there's nothing more beautiful than kindness. We work hard every day to provide exceptional beauty products and cultivate moments of kindness to inspire our community of Beekman neighbors visit Beekman 1802 calm or Mondays with monday.com and discover our range of goat milk soaps body care and clinically proven skincare. Tired of cooking love fans who are d'oeuvres but don't have any idea how to prepare. Look no further. The cocktail party love Mary is here for 15 years New York's cater to the stars and our pal Mary Giuliani has served her deliciously whimsical hors d'oeuvres to the best names in art, fashion and entertainment. Now she's put them all in an adorable little box to send from her heart to your home. as Mary says all you have to do is turn on your oven, pour yourself a drink and enjoy more time with your guests. She'll take care of the rest. Mary juliani calm or Mondays with monday.com for more information and to order yours today.